De-ART-schooling Myself

I have no idea if I would choose to go to Art School if I had it to do all over again.  It’s impossible to go back and really see what it was that you were looking for when Art School presented itself as an option.  All I really know now is that I’m trying to undo what I let it do to me.

I went to a great school.  It was small and intimate and the teachers were very hands on and available.  I feel really blessed by some of the talent that I got to surround myself with while I was there.  I look back, and I’m embarrassed by the person I was.  I was terrified!  Absolutely TERRIFIED of what other people thought about me.  It’s amazing that I actually made it through in one piece.  (Well I did have a nervous breakdown my senior year, so not exactly in one piece…)

“Crit” just plain sucks!  That’s when you put your work up on the wall for everyone in your class to make comments.  There wasn’t any real structure to the criticism, and some professors were better than others at directing the conversation to a good, constructive place.  But it ALWAYS sucked!  I hated it.  It felt like I was standing naked in front of the class and letting people pick off my flesh for a light snack.  Needless to say, I was far from the star of the class.  But I did graduate, and I did get that piece of paper that says that I have a Bachelors of Fine Arts.

Since art school, I have found so many ways of running away from my art.  I disguise it in responsibility or teaching or other “sort-of” creative endeavors, but in the end its all just ways of me high tailing it out of the room where my bliss used to live.  One of my favorite things to do when I was little was to draw and color.  Hours and hours of my day would be spent coloring.  But public school made me compare and doubt myself.  There were always competitions for the BEST whatever (artist, musician, singer, painter, poster maker, etc.).  Competition is a way of saying, “it doesn’t matter if you think it’s good, it only matters if other people think it’s good.”  Well, I don’t want to live in a world like that!

I’ve brushed up against “Intuitive Painting” several times in the past decade.  I know its something I’m drawn toward.  I know that there is something there for me.  It’s only now that I realize how desperate I’ve been for doing something like this.  We homeschool our son, and always have.  But parents who send their children to school and then decide to homeschool have to go through a period of what is sometimes called “deschooling.”  And, I’ve heard it can take about 2 years depending on how long the child was in school.  Well, I’ve decided to de-ART-school myself and I’m painting my way out of thinking about my art.  I don’t want to consider if it’s been done before, what imagery I’m using, why the color palette was chosen, what the size of the work that I’m doing means, what social meaning or context this work will relate to, and most of all I don’t care what happens with the end result.  What I want back, more than anything… is my pure bliss.  Here are the two intuitive paintings I did today.  And it felt GREAT, I’m not at bliss yet, but I’m on my way!

If you want to know more about intuitive painting, I suggest you read the book, Life, Paint and Passion by Michele Cassou and Stewart Cubley.

A day in the life of a working, homeschooling, mother and wife…

Today was a typical day…

I forgot to put out Everett’s breakfast last night, so at about 7:45 this morning (woo hoo… that’s a little late f.y.i.) Everett wakes up and I head downstairs to get him is breakfast.  Luckily, he is the independent type, and I was able to head back up for about 45 minutes more sleep.  Ahhhh…

I was left alone enough to get a shower in too, with only three interruptions [to tell me how we were wrong about a Percy Jackson Trivia question online early this week.  That Chiron (the Centaur) was Percy’s Latin teacher at Yancy Academy NOT his Greek Mythology teacher.  (I still want to look this up to verify)…] from the household student.

BACKGROUND INFO – Now, for those of you following the blog, you may already know that we live in an amazing new community.  It’s a CoHousing Community, and we share a townhome with another family of three.  Our housemates are a perfect match; a single mom and two boys 4 & 6.  It really feels amazing to share space together.  On Thursdays we like to help with dinner in the house and cook something for everyone to share.  Also note, that hubby is a musician and works weird hours.  Today’s gig was set for late afternoon into the evening.  So I knew I had my partner to utilize until about 1pm today.  Back to the CoHousing Community – we get assigned a “buddy” when we are new here, and today was my day to meet my buddy!

BACK TO MY DAY – Buddy and I decided a walk around the community (including the organic garden) would be a nice way to get to know one another.  As it turns out she is an artist and a warm, vibrant person.  I’m so lucky to live a few doors down from her!  She toured me around, showed me the grounds and the secret paths for a decent quick hike.  We connected about art and teaching and learning styles.  And most importantly, we bonded as we entered the “messy crafts” room of the Common House.  Now the Common House is a building that the whole community shares.  There is an industrial kitchen, large enough dining room for us all to each together, a sitting area with a fireplace.  There’s a kids’ play room, guest rooms for outa-towners, a classroom, a media room, an exercise room, and best of all – the messy crafts room complete with a kiln!  It’s like having a studio space, without having to pay for one!  Is this place real?  Someone pinch me!!!

After the beautiful start to my day, I was able to reach out to the IACC-NA committee about our next conference call.  I scheduled a “creating together” art night with everyone in the community invited as we sit around and make art.  Took a walk with Ev to show him all the secret spots that my buddy had shown me in the community.  We broke out the chalk and did some drawings all around the community as others jumped in.  I helped Everett write a mythological story about a dog he spotted on the moon for his planets class.  Took a heap of compost over to the composting pile, making sure to cover with leaves…  Used the potatoes that hubby has been promising to make for the past 2 nights; in an amazing vegan spinach & potato gratin.  It was a hit for kids and adults!  Went to tuck Ev into bed and read some Percy Jackson, The Last Olympian.  (We are waiting to see if the Statue of Liberty is an automaton that comes to life and helps save the day.  We still don’t know yet.)  Little man is asleep and the house is kid-quiet…

Finally ‘me’ time…

Just as I was starting to relax into my night, I get a panicked call from hubby about our bank account (who’s at the grocery store after his gig BTW).  We had an unauthorized charge.  So thirty minutes later, they are sending me a new card and all will be well.  We have just enough money to eat, and be merry.  Luckily our lifestyles have taught us how to stretch a dollar REALLY far!

Now its 10:27 and I’m ready for mind numbing Netflix…

My point to sharing my day-in-the-life…  Isn’t it a plain miracle that we each get to be here?  It’s extraordinary how we each create our own worlds and manage to live among one another.  We can choose to walk around sharing our worlds, or live anonymously.  Either is absolutely wonderful, because it is the freedom that we are each allowed.  Today I created – community, a meal, temporary art, inspiration, a plan, a solution, imagination, memories, school for Ev, and a warm feeling in my heart.  And I never left the community.

I’m excited to see what tomorrow will bring!

The power of intention – OR – the power of facebook?

Well, I know I’ve been hiding for a while.  So many things have been happening.  And they’ve all been happening subtly; so subtle that I couldn’t put anything into words for a few months.  This post is to bring things up to date, catch up up, and see what you think is presently happening.  Is it really us creating what we intend, or is it us just living in a world with Facebook…  I think it’s obvious, but tell me your thoughts when you get to the end!

MOM’S PAINTING

I got frozen on Mom’s painting and feeling stuck, so I haven’t been able to put paint to that canvas for a while.  I know I will go back to it, but for now, I need to just sit with the painting, and not be thrown off with images of “hospital” Mom.  Unfortunately, it’s what vibration comes up when I think of my Mother.  That will pass again eventually.  Thankfully, though, I’ve been finding other ways of enjoying creativity and paint!

PAINTING WITH FRIENDS

One of my favorite pastimes in the whole world is sitting a table with friends with paints and brushes and canvases and water, and painting our hearts out.  Either on the same canvas, or separately; that part doesn’t matter, as long as I am with other creative women and men who enjoy positive spirited conversation and good tea!  I love it when hubby either joins us with either a brush, or provides us entertainment with his guitar.  It’s a blissful time!!!  I’ve been fortunate enough to experience that with a couple of dear friends.  And it is my intention to continue to nourish that in 2012.

WHERE TO LIVE/STAY

We feel like we have been so fortunate in so many incredible ways.  We allow for so much abundance in our lives: abundance in friendship, abundance in family, abundance in joy, abundance in family time, abundance in energy, abundance in creativity, abundance in opportunity, abundance in desire, abundance in health, and abundance in support.  The abundance that we are still discovering is financial.

That being said, we left Maryland to travel around the country in January of 2011.  We wound up making it to Atlanta, and fell into a LIVING situation.  I don’t know if we were fearful, emotional, not ready, comfortable, or inspired.  Recently we haven’t been able to maintain our living situation, and that has us creative and inspired.  Right before our trip up to MD & PA for the holidays, we found out we had until Jan 13^th to find a new place to stay.  That was going to give us about 2 weeks to find a solution and when we got back to town.  And guess what…  It all worked out!

POWER OF INTENTION, OR FACEBOOK?

When we got back into town (after an amazing trip with friends and family) I set to my typical work on the internet to “figure out” what’s next, although, I was going about it differently.  Every time I got nervous or scared, I made myself stop and say, “this is all working out for the best.  It is guaranteed!  Even if it looks tragic, it’s not, it’s all for good!”

This “time to move” event got Alex and I talking about what our ideal living situation really looks like.  And it was clear that ideally, we still want to be mobile.  We still don’t want to have so much stuff that it’s hard to travel.  Alex is so gung ho over California!  Every time we meet someone who is from the other side of the Mississippi, he’s all over that poor person for details about living out west!  It’s clear that both of us still want to meet boat loads of new people and explore the US and beyond.  So ideally, we want to live in a vehicle.  We’d love that sprinter that we dreamed about over a year ago.  We want the freedom to go where we want.  We don’t want to feel tied down to anything.  Freedom is the basis of our lives.  It’s how we both stay inspired and creative.  In talking with the “boss” of the family… the 6 year old… Everett – he wants to see so many different places he either reads about or sees in a movie or program.  AND we all enjoy meeting new people.  So the idea of traveling to different places where we hang out for a few months or so and get to know the community is really exciting!  What’s ideal for our family?  Travel & community!

If I had already lined up with that financial abundance, we’d go buy that Sprinter and get going.  Obviously, we are still learning this one, so what’s next?  How can we live really inexpensively?  Can the three of us really live on less than a thousand dollars a month?  What would that look like?  How can we do that and get a sense of community at the same time?

Thankfully we are doing this in 2012, and information is at my fingertips!  Off to Google I went!  I kept typing in things like “creative communities” or “artist work/live spaces” or “artists (with families) in residence” or “live for free” or “community living.”  And I stumbled upon some interesting arrangements.  I found a site called www.ic.org for the organization “Fellowship for Intentional Communities.”  Basically it’s a community of people who have come together to share responsibilities of existing in a community together (hippie communes of the modern age?).  Some places have co-housing opportunities.  I found a really reasonable place in Boulder, CO and another interesting one in Asheville, NC.  GREAT!  But we need to be in Atlanta through May.  I’m planning a big event with the IACC-NA here in Atlanta, and I HAVE to see this through and be here!!!

I was talking with a friend and she sent me to another organization, Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms www.wwoof.org.  Now here was a listing of thousands of farms all across the world, which will provide room and board to volunteers on their farms!  Wow!!!  What an amazing organization!!!  There were even some nearby Atlanta!

Then one day I felt inspired to post our need for out-of-the-box inspiration regarding a place to crash for 4 months on my Facebook page.  One of my friends, a fellow homeschooling Mom, replied with a name of a woman with two boys who is looking for a housemate.  She wasn’t sure if it was suitable for a family, but it couldn’t hurt to ask.  My friend also suggested that our man Everett might get along really well with her boys who are 6 & 4.

Do you have any idea where this woman lives?  Yup, you guessed it…  An Intentional Community right here in Atlanta!!!  She was looking for a 3 month lease with a month to month lease there after.  AND, it’s less than half the price of where we are living!!!!  When we walked into the townhome, we felt familiar the family, and felt great about the idea of sharing space.  Everett loved hanging out with both the 6 and 4 year old boys with whom we will be living.  We have some private space on our own floor (including our own bathroom) and the rest of the space is quaint and perfect to share.  There are an abundance of 6 year old boys who live in the community.  And since it is an intentional community, there is plenty of shared space within the community.  I am so looking forward to exploring and getting acquainted with this new community.  We move in on the 11^th!!!!  And you better believe I’m finding a table in the community to invite new friends to paint and have tea!!!

So what do you think it was?  Was it just Facebook doing its job connecting people?  OR was it our intention for community and ability to travel and live inexpensively?  What’s your intention?

WHAT ABOUT CASH?

You might be wondering what we are doing to make money.  Especially as we plan on traveling.  Luckily we do some things that require traveling!  Alex is playing in Senior Living Centers and I’m booking him throughout the city.  He is also playing bass with a few cover bands in the area.  We are about to launch him with PMA (Positive Music Association) and we look forward to seeing that baritone guitar (aka: Great-granddad) take Alex everywhere he desires to go!!!  It’s been hard for me to figure out how to do color on the road, but I’ve picked up some clients here and there.  Nothing like it was when I was in MD and going out on 6 or 7 color consultations in a week’s time.  Also, the company “About Faces” has gotten me gigs for Henna and Face-painting.  They book across the country, so I can continue to work with them where ever we go!  Clinics and workshops are also in the works.  We can schedule those out a few months in advance, and travel to those events.  The best part is that we do most of this as a family!  We all go to these events, and we all have a great time!!!

WHAT’S NEXT?

First off, we are going to enjoy these moments of life coming together.  We are going to do some week long explorations to cities like Asheville through May.  Then we are going to hang out in a new city; as long as it feels right to each member of the Gordons 3…  Stay tuned!!!

P Color Project – Painting progress; not yet complete tho…

So I said I would have this Mom painting done and posted by the 15th in order to give myself a deadline…  I’m curious about that word too.  Deadline.  Why not Liveline.  I think my next Liveline will be to work on this painting until it feels complete.  This painting will have a life of it’s own as I bare witness to it’s unfolding.  I have made quite a bit of progress and changes since the last posting, so here’s your update…

I had to introduce an image that I so relate to my mother.  As kids, my mother used to read us a children’s book called “Journey of the Soul” and on the cover was a colorful tunnel of concentric circles.  The thought that we are made of energy and some can see this energy as color also brought me to this idea.  I also remember my aunt describing my mother as “light,” even as a baby, she always saw my mother as being surrounded by light.  I wanted to try to bring this sense into the painting…

Mom loved to photograph nature.  So the idea of using a floral inspired shape as a focal point in this painting feels necessary.  I also feel that it represents that most of her life she was dedicated to being vegetarian and not eating living things that had a mother.  Plants are enough to sustain us, and with this thought she influenced me enough to have been a vegetarian all my life (even in her womb).

Now the “70s fabric” inspired image in the upper left of the painting reminded me of a stained glass light above a table of a bar room…  I do have memories of my mother in these settings, but thankfully they are distant memories, so I wanted to make sure that the “lamp” took a back seat…  So in my “style” I glazed over with the gold and feel much better about where we are heading…

My mother was known for seeing her way around obstacles to get to what she desired.  For instance, her time spent working for the state of New Jersey, she found ways to help her clients when she was told that there was nothing that could be done.  She was a social worker and worked for developmentally disabled adults, and when she wanted to help keep her people safe and supported, she found a way.  I think that she had the ability to find logic amongst chaos.  So, over the stain glass lamp, I painted an organic form amassing itself into a clear intention.

So this is where I am right now…  I know that there will be more layers.  I’m inspired by something that Radcliff Bailey said at his artist talk last week.  He talked about the significance (to him) of painting with 7 layers; whether those layers be paint, or thought, or process, but he’s not complete with a work until he has reached for 7 layers…  I don’t know what my number is here, but I’m seeing some layers and new process unfolding as I begin this P Color Project.  Thanks for following!

Happy Painting!

The P Color Project

You might be wondering where I am.  A promise of a blog all about our experiences and what we are doing as we travel, and I’ve been missing…  for weeks!  As you know we are staying in Atlanta for now, so no travel blog.  Everett is thriving and really enjoying all the Homeshoolers he is meeting here.  This is a great area for him and it’s thrilling to see him so happy!  Alex is in a house band at a club, and working with a bunch of different musicians on many projects.  This week will be a seven nights in a row of gigging.  He is also in the midst of things I can’t talk about.  But he’s always like that!

As artists, creative types, and desperate followers of bliss, passion and purpose; we have been fine tuning our perspectives and our lives (probably me mostly).  I feel like I came down here (Atlanta) with clear purpose and when I got here, I’ve gotten confused…  I’ve done some face painting while down here, and I’ve really decided that it’s not something I want to do for money.  I LOVE making artwork that is created on bodies.  And I know there are more things to come from the body art world for me.  However, I have no ambition to do birthday parties and festivals to paint child after child.  It’s just not my thing.

I LOVE doing henna.  I get lost within the process and the smell and the detail.  I love doing henna parties and festivals.  And I like doing that all day long.  But, I do not want to become simply a henna artist, with 4 gigs a week.  It’s a wonderful release though…

I LOVE people!  I love getting to know them.  I love assessing a person’s personality and translating that into color.  I have decided to reignite my color consulting business down here in Atlanta.  Although, I look forward to 1 to 3 consultations per week; not 5 to 10!  I was so burnt out on it in MD.

Mainly though, I need to paint!

I need to create a lot of work and get through some of these pangs of doubt and worry that are still creeping around in my head.  I need to be void of this paralyzing fear!  I don’t know why it’s there or where it came from, but I’m asking it to leave.  I am doing that by asking my blog to come with me on my next mission.  I want to color profile and paint people abstract/non-representational portraits.  I am doing one of these per month (more if possible).  And I’m starting now!  In honor of my Mother (who never completed her creative missions before her death) I am starting with her.  She would have been 63 on June 21^st.  On her birthday, I sat down and came up with a questionnaire based on the questions I ask when I do a color consultation.  I answered this questionnaire about my mother to the best of my ability and then I sent it out to her friends and family.  I have come up with my mother’s color palette and now I am setting out by creating her portrait.

I hope you will take this color and art ride with me and watch and explore with me as I’m guided by inspiration and intuition.

Most of you know that my approach to color consulting stems from my study and knowledge of color psychology.  This idea, this challenge that I am posing for myself, is born out of the desire to merge my worlds together.  I want to be inspired by what I do everyday, and part of what makes me excited, is getting to know other people.  I will utilize the tools I use when I consult my color clients to create a personality profile.  I will select a palette of color for that subject.  I will then use form to describe that person using mostly non-representational imagery within the palette of color that was created from the personality profile.
I’m calling it the The P Color Project.  P is for People, Personality, Psychology, Profile, Paint, and Purpose.

I am doing this with you, so that you will hold me accountable.  I am taking inspiration from the book and movie, Julie and Julia and using your help to give myself a deadline.  So I promise you a painting, person, palette and profile by August 15th!  I’ll give you updates as I have them…

Wish me luck and thank you for joining me!

Warmly,
Jes

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